My NeW YeaR's Re-SoLuTiOn(s)

While I can't say that this year was great, it wasn't that bad. I finished getting my B.A., I was published, I started working full-time, hung out with great friends, and I started taking Jeet Kune Do lessons. However, I've only done about a third of the stuff I was originally planning to do.

Here are somethings I want to focus on in 2009:

1) To grow in Christ even more and to be more obedient in faith.

2) To know the Word more than I do now.

3) To write poetry like crazy.

4) Read more books.

5) I want to spend more time volunteering.

6) I want to keep up with my Jeet Kune Do training and learn more about martial arts.

7) I want to study language.

Yeah, that's about it. I thought about writing something a little more meaning full, but I want to keep it simple and to the point. I just don't want to overwhelm myself again.

SoMe HabiTs aRe jUsT tOO...

"Habitual"

The word that describes me the best.

I am definitely a creature of habit. I don't give up easily. I don't like others serving and protecting me unneedlessly, and my reaction to it is always the same. I love eating cookies and drinking milk. I love going for walks. I love chai lattes. I get upset when people discourage me. I laugh at the wrong time. And I hit the snooze button more than most.

Now, let me define what is "habitual" for me. A habit, either good or bad, can be a saying, an action, a thought, a feeling, a mind-set, a routine, or something else that we as humans do repeatedly and, sometimes, excessively. Some of my habits are bad, and some are even sinful. But, most of my habits are just irritating.

Why?

Well, I am irritated by my habits because I am well aware of when I'm committing them. I know that some people might find it difficult or easy to understand, but don't get me wrong; even though my habits come across as silly and absurd, I can't stand them. For example, one of worst habits of mine is trying to find conversation. Everytime I'm with someone I feel that I need to have some sort of substantial conversation. I can't stand it! Honestly, if I ever find some one who just sits there and doesn't care what I say I'll be happy! Why? Because I would rather spend time with someone who isn't interested in looking normal than with a freak who thinks that if you can't say anything you might as well just not hang out. That, to me, is not the point in hanging out. The point in hanging out is spending time with another person, whether it's in silence, conversation, walking around, playing games, etc, it doesn't matter to me; it doesn't take much to satisfy me.

Ever since I was a kid, my parent would by me expensive toys only to discover that they generally wasted their money. I would play with construction paper and tissues before I would play with my legos or action figures. This is probably an annoying habit too, but regardless, I've been this way for a long time.

Maybe that's why God doesn't give me many things. Every time I buy a book, some clothes, or something cool, I think, "Why did I buy this? This is stupid! I'm probably not going to use it." Again another bad habit. ErRrRr!

I was going to write something personal here, but I think I'll wait. This post is turning into an emotional and superfluous rant instead of something substantial. So, forget it. :P

TiS tHe sEaSOn

Unfortunately in America, the Christmas season starts as early as Halloween; but, in most places it's after Thanksgiving. But regardless when the Christmas season starts, the end of the year marks the time for Giving.

Because I am a Christian, Giving means a lot more to me than just giving presents. To me, Giving means giving something that's valued by one's soul; something that's so important, it would be like giving up a part of yourself. True, Giving comes in many forms --money, material objects, cards, and the like-- but for me I like to give things away that are difficult and enjoyable too (it's not always both though).

One example of something I like to give is friendship. Though I don't think everyone places a high value on some of the benefits of friendship, I like to give things to my friends that are concrete and abstract. Sometimes I'll give my friends books, letters, food, and assistance when needed, but most of the time I prefer to give them love, encouragement, hope, trust, admonition, honesty, and a plethora of things they can't necessarily see.

Truthfully, though, it's difficult to give these abstract qualities away. Though I love giving my friends these things, many times it gets trampled and torn. Yet, I still try my best to smile and be happy that I can at least afford them something. I just try to remember the times when I did the same to Christ, because I do it a LOT!

But there are some things that makes me wonder about Giving. For example, the church places an emphasis on one form of giving called tithing. This is probably something a lot of Christians have trouble with, but where I have trouble with it is this: must I tithe every Sunday to my church when I give to other Christian organizations (i.e.: charities, homeless shelters, non-profit organizations)? I mean, I am a post-undergraduate student trying to muster a living, and though I don't use this as an excuse, curiosity just begs me to question. I would like to relate an example to a certain Fourth Wise Man from legends who gave his intended gift to the Infant Christ to those who were in need. The only problem with this example is that it isn't biblical. Granted, I am still learning from Scripture and some of my memories of what I have already studied has become somewhat vague and muddled. However, I just wonder....

Well, I must admit I have many questions concerning Giving and the like. But about tithing, I think I'll still tithe to my church regardless of the other institutions I may support financially. I don't want to deviate from what I know at least to be true until I can prove that what I wonder to be true is true. :P