preparation

My time in Korea is almost over. As one part of my life closes another opens.

I don't have many things here anymore. Last week I finished the bulk of my packing. Now I just have the stuff I'll carry on to the plane. My last day here is August 10. I will fly from Seoul to New York and spend some time with my grandmother before I head down to South Carolina.

My next step? Well, I don't know what that is yet. I don't actually believe there is a next step. All I believe is that I must move forward. I know I'll be coming back to Asia soon. This is where my heart is.

The next few weeks I have to teach advanced classes and English camp. It's not bad, but the students seem to be frustrated with me about it. I think they thought it was going to be easy, but they were wrong. I'm making my advanced classes write letters to someone they admire and write a story about a place. My English camp students are making a movie which they will have to perform. I think it will be fun. :)

Now I am trying to get my sleep back and life back in order before I leave. I have been under stress a lot these days, so it has been difficult for me to sleep at night or feel comfortable at home. Most of this stress is work related. My co-workers don't realize how stressful it is working with them. But what do I know. I'm just the dumb foreigner. :P

I'm going to try to write more often in this blog. Hopefully my English won't be atrocious to my readers.

long time......

It's been a while since I posted on this blog. I haven't had a whole lot to talk about lately.

I'm trying to cope living in Asia. It's very hard! I don't know how to attempt to explain all the details or mentality that exists here, but it has taken its effect on me. Whether it's positive or negative I can't tell yet. Learning to live with it is the hard part; thinking about it later is the best thing for now....

~대만!!! Oh Taiwan!!!~

Less than twenty four hours before I leave Korea... a little nervous.

It's raining today and that makes leaving more comfortable. Actually, I've always liked rain. Rain always calms and clears my thoughts. Just like the water washing a way the dirt and flith, my mind too is cleaned and refreshed by rainfall.

But, getting ready to go to another country...

I really hope there's something new for me to learn there.

Peace.

As people pass
through
the white halls,
a cracking sound
comes from
the room downstairs.

lately, i've been praying that God would just keep me quiet.... it's possible that it may sound silly, but i find that thinking too much keeps me from really pursuing the Lord. not that i think thinking is wrong, but in my life it's like an excuse.

so... instead of really laying things out there, i want to share some scripture i've been reading.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will recieve anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways." James 1: 5-8

double-minded is certainly where i am. perhaps not so much in doubting, but more so in lack of satisfaction in the Lord himself. i've been reading oswald chambers' book "my upmost for his highest." an excellent book. in these devotions chambers discusses spiritual matters by using scripture (the only way to do it) and makes application to them. well, i've come to realize that my lack of satisfaction in Christ has led to a life of sin. chambers points out that a believer who is determined to have his own way in living for God is, ultimately, "persecuting Him." such a powerful message!

Holy Spirit give me a spirit that is satisfied in You and seeks to follow Your will.

a forcast

Somewhere in Sukhumvit,
an Indian man shared me a piece
of my future,
and once again I am reminded of
the shortness of my life;
as if seeing my grandfather's
headstone, bearing my name,
at the age of eight
wasn't enough.

(i wrote this poem around the beginning of the year. i was in thailand for about a week when i this happened to me. also, for the uninformed readers, my full name, "myron russell brown" is the same name as my grandfather. my father wanted his first born son to have the same name as his father, so i was aptly named in his honor. my grandfather died in 1993 when i was eight. even though i am a believer, i'm young. moments like this remind me that i have a short time on earth....

also, i originally wanted to use the word "shortening" in place of the word "shortness." however, seeing that the word "shortening" isn't quite appropriate for the context, i made the change. but, "shortening" somehow did have an effect on me. sometimes the english language can be an inefficient tool for communicating thoughts and poems.)

thoughts

so, i had this strange thought today coming home on the bus.

(well, first let me explain the situation. when i go to seoul i have two options. one is to take the subway, and the other is to take the express bus. lately, i've been using the express bus because it takes me closer to where i need to go.)

anyways...

as i was on the bus home tonight, i started thinking about land of the lost. now, if you guys aren't familiar with the show that's okay. perhaps you've seen the movie? (i haven't seen it.) anywho, i started wondering what would it be like if the bus i was on, and being the only white kid, was transported to a remote island somewhere in the pacific? what would that be like? i mean, i would be the only non-korean guy on a bus full of koreans. how would that play out? i wonder how they would react? how they would treat me, especially since i don't speak korean very well?

well, you know... it was just me thinking about something i've wondered about.

also, i bought a new dslr camera the other day! ^^ i'm really excited about it! it's a canon 450d. i can't wait to start taking serious pictures with this.