So, this week has definitely been challenging to me in many ways. For one, I've had to step it up as a teacher. I don't think I really understood how difficult teaching really was until now. Just the little things can hurt or upset students. Not only that, but also I've had to get more difficult with my students. They will take any advantage they can from you. They'll even beg you at times not to do something. Being a compassionate guy, it's difficult. I want to sit by them and encourage them to do well and that anything is possible. But the reality is that most of them don't want to learn this stuff and so compassion isn't what they need. I guess it's true in the spiritual life too. Sometimes we want God to be compassionate with us, to love us and give us the attention we feel we deserve. But sometimes, that's not what we really need. Sometimes we just need things to be hard and tiresome. We have to grow.
Second, I've had to learn about responsibility. I'm not only a teacher here, but an IWE leader. Since I've been placed to help lead the Welcome team and give some direction to them, I've realized that I have to watch myself and how I present myself to others. I need to be ready to lead and be Christ-like to any one who walks or wanders into our doors. In a way, and I'm not trying to boast, my job at church is one of the most important jobs when it comes to volunteering. I'm basically acting as IWE's face when new people come. Not only do I send out the emails, but also I've been calling the people who have been attending two or more times just to say "hey." But I'm starting to find out that by calling people and talking to them I'm making some kind of impact on them. Honestly, I don't know exactly what I do to them, but whatever it is it's the Holy Spirit at work in it. It's definitely a blessing for me and such a awesome thing to see God work in other people's lives.
Third, I'm starting to find out that I'm becoming closer to my family back home. I guess when you're away for some time even the people you normally don't talk to start to miss you. I can't tell how long I've spent on the phone with my brothers. They are definitely interested in what I'm doing over here. I've also spent several hours talking to my grandma and my parents back home. My grandma told me if anything bad happens to me here, she'll buy my airplane ticket so I can come home. It kinda makes me giggle, but I know she means it and I'm thankful that she cares. I just wish I could be at my grandma's house right now so she isn't so lonely.
Being here has definitely changed my perspective on things. You don't want to take any opportunity for making friends here for granted. You never know when you'll need people to help you. Already the John family (the Pakistani family I spend my weekends with) seems to have taken me under their wing. I'm really blessed and honored to know them and spend time with them. They're such a wonderful family! This winter they've invited me to go to Pakistan with them for a family wedding. I'm not sure if I want to go yet because I kind of want to go to Japan, but it's definitely something I'm considering. It would be wonderful to see Pakistan though. I can tell you that Pakistani food is amazing! I asked them if there would be any problems with me going since I'm an American, but they told me that since I don't act like an American or walk like an American it wouldn't be too difficult to hide the fact that I am one; I would just have to wear Pakistani traditional clothing. It sounds fun, but I do want to go to Japan. We'll see. :P
It's already starting to cool down here. I think it was 27 degrees outside last time I checked (that's Celsius for you). This weekend I'm visiting my friend Jin in Seoul. This guy has really been a good friend to me. I met him at a time when I was really looking for some Korean friends, so his friendship means a lot to me. I really want to improve my Korean just so he doesn't have to speak so much English (English is really tough for Koreans to speak). I don't know what we'll do, but I know it will be fun.
So, yeah, that's just some of the things that I've been going through and thinking about lately. Perhaps my blog is becoming a little too personal, but I just really want to share what's going here with me as much as possible for you guys back home. I know you can't be here with me, but maybe offering some glimpses into my Korean life here will be a blessing to you. I know you guys are praying for me and I am humbly honored. I love you all very much!
Peace.
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