Thursday, July 30, 2009

growing pain

Well, the past couple of weeks have definitely been trying on me. However, things have been looking up. This past weekend I spent Saturday and Sunday night at my friend Gulraiz John's house with his family. It was cool. I learned a lot about his country, Pakastan, and his culture. It was just really awesome to get to know people from another country, especially when they are brethen in Christ.

Sunday was really cool! I spent most of my day at church (I've spent lots of Sundays at church since I've been here), and met more people. The message was really convicting, and made me think about how things have been for me since I've came to Korea. God has really shown me things in my life that I'm ashamed of, things that I didn't know I could do, things I didn't even know I was capable of doing. One thing He has definitely showed me is how to just trust Him and not to rely on myself. This has been the most difficult thing to do. I always want to be in control. However, since I've been here, I haven't been in control of anything. So trusting Him is a must. I really have no choice.

Sunday night, I met this guy named Tom (it's his English name, lots of Koreans have English names because their Korean names are hard to pronounce) and his wife. Apparently, the company he works for told him last week that he has to go to Europe in September. His problem is that his English isn't very good. So, he asked me if I would teach him English in a month and a half. I freaked! I thought that there would be no way I could do this! Not only that, but also he was willing to pay me anywhere between $50 and $90 an hour. I was flattered and nervous. Not only would this guy pay me, but also he wanted an intensive course. Well, I wasn't sure what to do. The first thing I did was pray. Then I reduced the amount because he is a believer to $30 an hour. So, I took the job. Even though it's illegal to teach private English lessons in Korea without notifying the government, lots of Koreans and English speaking foreigners do it apparently. So, I teach him on Wednesday nights and Saturday afternoons. It's hard. Last night after work, I came to his apartment (which is the largest home I've been in since I've been living in Korea) and helped him for an hour. It was hard, but I believe God will provide and give me the necessary tools and knowledge to help him.

On Tuesday, there were some problems. I thought I was going to lose my job. Evidently, because Immigration took my passport in order to register me, my boss was given a receipt. Well, I was told that I was the one who should have the receipt just in case a cop or someone asks for my passport I can show them the proof. Well, I asked him several times on Monday about it. Well, evidently, in Korea if you ask too many questions people think you don't trust them. That's exactly what my boss thought. When he sat me down with the head teacher he told me that he knew that other hagwons treat their foreign employees miserably (partly because foreign teachers will sometimes leave in the middle of their contract, so many hagwon principals will hold your passport from you), but he didn't want to be like them. It took me a while to figure out what he meant, but then when I explained what I was thinking and that I did trust him, he soon figured out that there was just a misunderstanding due to cultural differences. I just wanted to know if I really needed my passport receipt and nothing more. But it scared the crap out of me big time!

So, yeah, this week has been weird and strange. But, I wouldn't change it for anything less or more. God has blessed me so much! I just feel unworthy to receive His blessings or faithfulness because I lack so often. Because Korea, and Asia in general, is a communal based society, people trust each other heavily and share food, their homes, and goods liberally. The fact that men in Korea will walk down the street holding each others hands and no one thinks about it because it isn't gay is definitely a testament to how people care for one another. I just wished I could be more loving like that sometimes.

Peace.

Friday, July 24, 2009

A Typical Day at Work

Well, "typical" is quite an understatement. Everyday at work is different, and you never know exactly what's going to happen, who you'll switch with, what kids you'll get, etc. Working in a hagwon is strange, exciting, and weird at times.

Usually though, everyday I show up to work around 2:30 pm. I usually just sit around and talk to kids, coworkers, or just read a book until something happens. Around 3:10 pm my first class starts. My first class is usually kids who know little to some English. Most of the time, they can't carry a sentence or say a few words correctly. My job, is to just expose them and get them to start speaking English. However, it's freaking hard! You would think that these kids would be some stereotypical, obedient Asian kids who listen intently to their teachers words, but no. Most of the time, they're talking, hitting each other, throwing things at one another, and the only way to get their attention is to either not talk or make threats. Although I'm a little sensitive to do it, I've been told that I'm allowed to whack them on the head or yell at them in their faces. However, I just don't feel up to it yet.

After my first class, I start getting students who are still beginnners, but know more English. Their English level is at least around the level of speaking phrases and some words, but sometimes it's like pulling teeth to get them to talk. Some of them just stare at you or talk to their friends. But usually it's not too bad.

Around 4 or 5pm I usually eat dinner. This is usually a ramen meal. Sometimes I'll eat some take out, but I'm too poor to afford take out often. My dinners are usually around an hour or more. Most of the time I just go and talk to kids.

After dinner, the middle schoolers show up. These kids usually can speak English in sentences or broken phrases. Some of them should be in the elementary level, but parents get really pissed if their kids are considered dumb. These kids are usually a little more fun to pull pranks on since they can understand you more, but they sometimes just stare at you too.

Around 9 or 10 pm, I'm usually finished for the day. It's not too hard of a job, just a tiring from dealing with kids. But, I love it!

Speaking of staring, this is probably the most difficult thing to experience as a foreigner. Even though I'm from another country, I'm also another race. So, usually everywhere I go Koreans will stare at me, especially around here since foreigners aren't as common. For example, yesterday I was at a McDonald's and this kid kept staring at me the entire time I was there. If I looked at him he would just look away, but I knew he was watching me. I guess it just really makes me realize how much I need to watch what I wear, say, and do. Not only because I'm different here, but more importantly because I'm a follower of Christ. If I want anyone to remember me here I want them to remember Christ in me. Even if I leave this place with nothing else, just leaving knowing that would make me thrilled.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

God is VERY, VERY GOOD!

So, yeah, earlier this morning I was very distressed. I basically broke down. I couldn't handle it anymore.

I had planned on going to church, washing my face, and acting like everything was OK. Maybe mention that I was having some financial problems, but for the most part, leave afterwards. But as I was sitting in the hobby praying and trying to hold back any signs of weakness, I gave in.

I told them my problem. Honestly, I wasn't planning on expecting much, just some advice. However, I got lots of help. God was merciful to me. I just don't know how to explain it. They gave me some food, gimbap. It's like some version of sushi. It isn't bad, but it was filling.

During the service, I just kept praying that God would deliever me from this mess. I'm so tired of being in these types of situations. When it came time for the offering I prayed that God would take what was his from me. I only had about 5,000 won on me. I gave it all. I wasn't sure if I could make it. I had NO money. Yeah, I had debit cards and some spare change, but it wouldn't be enough to make it. I just prayed that God would provide. And that was it. After I gave it, I just had this immense feeling of peace come over me.

I don't really know how to explain this, but I was humbled.

After the service, which I really needed, I went with the pastor to a US military base. We took his motorcycle, but had to park outside the base. I wasn't sure what I was expecting. Evidently, all the ATMs on the base act like ATMs in the US. So, if you make a withdraw, it's as if you're withdrawing money in the US. It was pretty sweet. I took about 100,000 won. Then we went to some cafeteria that serves pretty much anything you can get in the US, including my favorite soft drink: Dr. Pepper (they don't serve it in Korea... very sad). I got some Taco Bell, and we talk about some stuff. I told him a bit about my situation. What was awesome though, was that he has been preaching about 1 Cor chapters 3 and 4 since I've been here. What providence God has!

Ever since I've been in Korea, I've been asking God, "why am I really here?" I know it's to teach English, to gain experience as a teacher and a student, but why?

I realized something about myself today: I'm full of pride. It was pride that kept me from calling people here for help. It was pride that kept me walking towards Incheon alone. It was pride all the time. Pride in my life. I just keep thinking about myself. I don't really consider God, not in the full sense. I'm always on the look out for me. I just never took the time to realize it. I just kept believing that pride was an issue that other people I knew struggled with, and that my struggles were more intimate, more personal, and that no one would really understand. I was just different. WRONG!

I stayed at church for the 3 pm service. It was during the song "Jesus Messiah" that I just began to break apart completely. I was overwhelmed my God's grace and presence in my life and in the world around me. He truly is Lord of all!

Now, I'm off to bed.

Peace.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

LiFe CAn SUCK... but God is always good.

So, here I am in Myeongdong waiting for church to start. It's about 6:30 am. I've been in Seoul since 4 pm yesterday.

Around 1p yesterday, I decided I wanted to visit Itaewon in Seoul. It's a city/suburb of Seoul where lots of foreigners hang out. It was kinda cool. I met a Korean. His name is Jin Hyeok. He helped me find my way through the maze of subway lines to Itaewon. The thing about the subways and train lines in the Seoul-Incheon-Suwon area is that they zig-zag all over the place and it takes longer to get from point A to point B. For example, Incheon is only 25 miles away from Seoul, but it takes a little over an hour to get from Incheon to Seoul by bus, train, and car. So, it sucks.

When I got to Itaewon I wasn't really impressed. Evidently, lots of foreigners were there too hanging out too, but they were all kind of rude. Plus, the Koreans knew more English, so they would try to sell you things which was really annoying. So, I left.

When I got to Yongsan, it was about 6pm. So, I decided to watch Harry Potter 6. Yes, I'm a Harry Potter fan, so you can go eat it. But, because it was in IMAX and it was 3D, I had to wait until 9 pm to see it. The only problem was that the train system would be closed for the night by the time the movie was over. So I thought, "why not? I need a little night time adventure. It will be fun!" At least, I thought it would be.

Well, right before the movie started, I decided to get some popcorn and a drink. It wasn't bad until they told me my card wasn't working. "OK," I thought, "I'll just use some cash. Maybe it's just their system." So, after the movie was over, I left Yongsan Station, which is also a mall and movie theatre, and went outside. I thought I would just find some place to stay around Yongsan. Well, I would have except when I started looking around on the streets, I kept noticing these half naked girls hanging out in these windows, and men walking up and paying them some money. Then some woman came up and asked me if I wanted sex with some sexy woman. I definitely turned her down. Although, I was really tempted. I won't go into detail of what I thought, but I knew I would destroy my body, God's temple, and hurt me greatly. I just didn't want it. It took a lot to not think about it.

When I got away from that mess, I found an ATM. I tried using my card, but it wouldn't take. So, I tried calling my parents. Even though it was 1 am, I knew it would be about 12 pm on Saturday. However, my phone service was canceled or something weird like that. "Great," I thought, "this night is going to get really interesting."

So, I started walking home. Or, at least, I tried.

I got about 1/4 of the way home when I realized that I would never make it. That my best bet would be to go to church and see if anyone there could help me out. As much as I wanted to get home, I needed some help. But more importantly, I needed God's help... desperately. I don't know how I can explain this, but I'm so broken right now. I've been trying all night long to be positive and pray and think of other things. But, I don't think I can any more. I don't know why I'm really here. I know God called me here to teach, but for what?! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GET FROM THIS! I'm so pissed right now! I want to go home! Back to the US! Back to my life! I was comfortable there! I was fine!

WHY AM I REALLY HERE?!

I'm so tired and sore right now. I'm about to cry. I won't, but I can't speak the freakin language, I don't know many people around here, and I'm desperate. I'll be another 3 hours before church starts. It's the traditional service, but I don't care. I need God. I need His help! Honestly, I feel alone. For the first time since I've been here I actually feel alone.

Please pray for me. I can only trust God right now. I know that no matter what happens He will be good to me.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

ChUrCh, WoRk, & ChiNaTOWn

So, I haven't updated this thing for quite some time. A lot has happened this week, so I'll try to tell what's happened as best as I can.

Where to begin?

Sunday

Well, this past Sunday was awesome! I woke up around 7 am to get to Seoul as soon as I could. However, the bus system is a little confusing around YeoungHyunDong, so it took about 15 mins to get it right. I wanted to check out this church called Youngnak Presbyterian Church. Evidently, Presbyterian churches tend to be more biblical based in Korea than most other churches, and they usually have English services that are better too. So, I had it all planned out how I was going to get there: take bus 16 to Dongincheon Station, take the train from Dongincheon Station to Yongsan Station, switch over to the subway to Seoul Station, transfer over to the blue line and get off at Myeongdong, and find this church. The only thing was I ended up waiting longer for things to go than I anticipated. I got to the church at 10:45 am, and the service started at 10 am. At least I found the church I thought. I'll just go to the 1500 service (by the way, after 1200 pm, all the times in Korea become military times. Yeah, everthing here is in Celsius, meters, and military time. It's weird, but cool) So, I decided to walk around Seoul a bit.

While I was walking around Seoul, I had this awful craving for Western food. Now, Korean food is really good, and you can get lots of Korean food for under $5 here, but after eating bulgogi, kimchi, rice, dried fish, and a bunch of other stuff your body really starts craving something familiar. So, I found a Pizza Hut that looked pretty good.

After I left Pizza Hut, I found some bookstores. The only thing is that there aren't many that sell English books. So, I gave up right around 1430 pm. When I got to the church, I found out that it's an actual ministry called International Worship in English, or IWE. It was awesome! It felt so good to worship Jesus! I can't really describe how I felt, but it was an amazing release. After all the stuff I was going through: moving to a foreign country, struggling to find a way to explain my faith to some Church of God cult, and just trying to figure things out in general, it was something.

Well, the preaching was awesome too, because it touched on something I'll need to remember while I'm here in Korea; it was 1 Corinthians 3:10-17. The verse that really hit me was 1 Cor. 3: 17, which states, "[i]f anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple." That last part was convicting. It just reminded me about all the crap I've been going through the past couple of months, but it was like God was telling me that now I have a choice to make: either I will serve him wholly, or I will live as one in the world.

Coming here is refreshing. I don't know anybody. I can't speak the language or understand it. I'm almost vunerable to anything. But through everything God has been faithful to me. Now, it's my turn to be faithful to him.

After the service, I went to some info class about IWE. Evidently, it's a ministry that exists to plug foreigners into the ministry for different things like student ministry, children's ministry, helping out at orphanages, feeding the homeless, etc. It was pretty cool. Afterwards, I made a bunch of friends there. We went to see Transformers 2 at an IMAX theater. Apparently, you have to reserve tickets here about a week in advance because most movie theaters get packed out pretty quickly. But, God had other plans when I thought and figured that I couldn't go. Cause I did. And, though the movie was OK, it was great to meet other English speaking people.

On Monday, I went to work. It was interesting. I taught about 7 classes on my first day. Needless to say, I was tired. Tuesday thru Thursday weren't too bad, I taught about 3 to 4 classes on those days. Friday was just about as busy as Monday. The only thing that made it difficult was that everything is completely unorganized. You don't know what your schedule is going to look like each day, nor do you know what your going to teach. But, I realized how underdeveloped the field of teaching second language is. The books were awful. It didn't make any sense the way the texts were organized. Some of them were too difficult for the age group, and others were too easy. So I improvised in some cases. Fortunately, my English background helped out a bit. But, most of the theory was useless, as most theory tends to be.

Other than working and going to church, I visited Chinatown today. It's located in the city I live in. It's a pretty cool place. There's tons of lanterns and restaurants to visit. I went to Jayu Park, which is a park dedicated to the Americans and Koreans who died in the Korean war. It's a pretty cool place to sit, relax, and look at the Yellow Sea. On clear days I heard you can see China, but I haven't been there on one.

So, that's the abridged version of what's been going on. I don't always get to write in my blog because it costs money at these PC bongs (Internet cafes). It's cheap, but I only have an hour to do stuff.

So, yeah, that's about it.

Peace.

Friday, July 3, 2009

SeOuL AdVenTuRe & nOt HaVinG MoNEy

So, I know I haven’t blogged for a while. Here’s the scoop.

On Wednesday, I visited one of my friends Pam. She’s the woman who recruited me. Anyways, I gave her a call on a payphone. It wasn’t too bad, except I kept running out of money. We decided to meet each other at Yeongsan. However, I had no idea how to get there. So, I took a taxi to Dongincheon Station. From Dongincheon, I took the train which cost about 1,500 won, or $1.50. It was about 45 mins to Yeongsan, which is in Seoul. Prior to this, I have never been to Seoul. When I got there I don’t think I’ve ever seen that many people running around to transfer. It was crazy! I ended up waiting for her for about another 45 mins. When we finally met up she seemed a little pissed because I didn’t call her even though I followed her directions to meet her at the platform. Evidently, there was a miscommunication between us.

Anyways, we decided to go back to her place for some food. It was about 8pm. So, we took a train to Seoul Station, got off and took a bus to Goyang City which is about 45 mins. north of Seoul and 30 mins south of the DMZ. When we arrived in Seoul, I was overwhelmed! The city is HUGE! It’s even bigger than New York City! And cleaner too! Compared to Incheon it is cleaner.

Evidently, Incheon is an underdeveloped city that is going through remodeling. And I live in one of the more underdeveloped parts called YeoungHyun5Dong, or to pronounce it, “Young-Hewn-Oh-Dong” in English.

Well, back to my story; I was really taken away by it. Not to mention that from Seoul to Incheon it’s all city as well.

Apparently, the Seoul Metropolitan Area is the second largest in the world. The fact that it takes 2 hours by train to get from one end to the other should testify to that too.

Anyways, we got to Goyang City about 9 pm; met up with some friends of hers that were some what drunk.

If there’s one thing everyone should know about Koreans is that they drink like the Irish. Ironically, Korea and Ireland are both divided countries, even though that’s not really relevant to that fact, but it’s interesting to note.

Well, both of her friends wanted me to drink. So I had some beer and soh-ju (spelling?). But, they kept trying to get me to drink. However, even though they were drunk, I wasn’t. Apparently, I can hold my alcohol better than I thought I could.

So, about 12 am, I decided that I needed to head back to Incheon. Well, that was my plan, until they told me that the trains stop running at midnight. So, I was stranded in some city about 2 hours by bus and train from my home. I wasn’t thrilled needless to say. However, Pam let me stay at her place until her boss’ son came back at 5 am. Which was cool with me. So, we went up to the roof of her apartment building and drank some more and talked. Then I went to bed sometime around 1 am. When I woke up at 5 am, she took me to the bus stop and told me what bus to take. When I got back to my apartment it was about 8 am.

When I woke up at 11 am, some people that I met came by and wanted to take me to there church. Now, for the past couple of days I thought that this church was a Christian church. Well, it is, but not really. They believe in something called God the Mother. It’s really weird. The hard thing is trying to tell them that I don’t believe in that stuff. But, they don’t like it when I try to tell them my thoughts or try to explain what I believe. They just treat me like I don’t know the Bible and that any faith I have isn’t true. It’s really frustrating.

Anyways, later that night I decided to do some shopping. So I went to Dongincheon. Around Dongincheon there’s the underground shopping arcade and the Shinpo Market. Both places are really big! However, when I went to get some cash, I couldn’t get any. Though I told my bank that I would be overseas, my cards weren’t working! I was pissed! Fortunately, I could get stuff when I made purchases with my cards; however, I couldn’t get cash.

In Korea, about 75% of the places only accept cash, especially local restaurants, buses, and trains. It sucks if you just have cards.

When I got back to my apartment, I was really tired.

Today, Friday, I woke up later than usuall. One of the guys that has been trying to convert me came by and got me, so it was tough trying to get away. When I finally got to a bank it was closed. Strangely, I wasn’t freaking out. Somehow I knew God would get me through this.

Sure enough, He did!

One of the teachers at my school let me borrow 100,000 won, which is about $100. I was so grateful! God was very gracious to me! I can’t describe how I felt.

So, yeah, I tried to make this post short, but I don’t think I succeeded. Well, just keep praying for me. I’ll try to update soon.

Peace.