So, here I am in Myeongdong waiting for church to start. It's about 6:30 am. I've been in Seoul since 4 pm yesterday.
Around 1p yesterday, I decided I wanted to visit Itaewon in Seoul. It's a city/suburb of Seoul where lots of foreigners hang out. It was kinda cool. I met a Korean. His name is Jin Hyeok. He helped me find my way through the maze of subway lines to Itaewon. The thing about the subways and train lines in the Seoul-Incheon-Suwon area is that they zig-zag all over the place and it takes longer to get from point A to point B. For example, Incheon is only 25 miles away from Seoul, but it takes a little over an hour to get from Incheon to Seoul by bus, train, and car. So, it sucks.
When I got to Itaewon I wasn't really impressed. Evidently, lots of foreigners were there too hanging out too, but they were all kind of rude. Plus, the Koreans knew more English, so they would try to sell you things which was really annoying. So, I left.
When I got to Yongsan, it was about 6pm. So, I decided to watch Harry Potter 6. Yes, I'm a Harry Potter fan, so you can go eat it. But, because it was in IMAX and it was 3D, I had to wait until 9 pm to see it. The only problem was that the train system would be closed for the night by the time the movie was over. So I thought, "why not? I need a little night time adventure. It will be fun!" At least, I thought it would be.
Well, right before the movie started, I decided to get some popcorn and a drink. It wasn't bad until they told me my card wasn't working. "OK," I thought, "I'll just use some cash. Maybe it's just their system." So, after the movie was over, I left Yongsan Station, which is also a mall and movie theatre, and went outside. I thought I would just find some place to stay around Yongsan. Well, I would have except when I started looking around on the streets, I kept noticing these half naked girls hanging out in these windows, and men walking up and paying them some money. Then some woman came up and asked me if I wanted sex with some sexy woman. I definitely turned her down. Although, I was really tempted. I won't go into detail of what I thought, but I knew I would destroy my body, God's temple, and hurt me greatly. I just didn't want it. It took a lot to not think about it.
When I got away from that mess, I found an ATM. I tried using my card, but it wouldn't take. So, I tried calling my parents. Even though it was 1 am, I knew it would be about 12 pm on Saturday. However, my phone service was canceled or something weird like that. "Great," I thought, "this night is going to get really interesting."
So, I started walking home. Or, at least, I tried.
I got about 1/4 of the way home when I realized that I would never make it. That my best bet would be to go to church and see if anyone there could help me out. As much as I wanted to get home, I needed some help. But more importantly, I needed God's help... desperately. I don't know how I can explain this, but I'm so broken right now. I've been trying all night long to be positive and pray and think of other things. But, I don't think I can any more. I don't know why I'm really here. I know God called me here to teach, but for what?! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GET FROM THIS! I'm so pissed right now! I want to go home! Back to the US! Back to my life! I was comfortable there! I was fine!
WHY AM I REALLY HERE?!
I'm so tired and sore right now. I'm about to cry. I won't, but I can't speak the freakin language, I don't know many people around here, and I'm desperate. I'll be another 3 hours before church starts. It's the traditional service, but I don't care. I need God. I need His help! Honestly, I feel alone. For the first time since I've been here I actually feel alone.
Please pray for me. I can only trust God right now. I know that no matter what happens He will be good to me.
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