God is VERY, VERY GOOD!

So, yeah, earlier this morning I was very distressed. I basically broke down. I couldn't handle it anymore.

I had planned on going to church, washing my face, and acting like everything was OK. Maybe mention that I was having some financial problems, but for the most part, leave afterwards. But as I was sitting in the hobby praying and trying to hold back any signs of weakness, I gave in.

I told them my problem. Honestly, I wasn't planning on expecting much, just some advice. However, I got lots of help. God was merciful to me. I just don't know how to explain it. They gave me some food, gimbap. It's like some version of sushi. It isn't bad, but it was filling.

During the service, I just kept praying that God would deliever me from this mess. I'm so tired of being in these types of situations. When it came time for the offering I prayed that God would take what was his from me. I only had about 5,000 won on me. I gave it all. I wasn't sure if I could make it. I had NO money. Yeah, I had debit cards and some spare change, but it wouldn't be enough to make it. I just prayed that God would provide. And that was it. After I gave it, I just had this immense feeling of peace come over me.

I don't really know how to explain this, but I was humbled.

After the service, which I really needed, I went with the pastor to a US military base. We took his motorcycle, but had to park outside the base. I wasn't sure what I was expecting. Evidently, all the ATMs on the base act like ATMs in the US. So, if you make a withdraw, it's as if you're withdrawing money in the US. It was pretty sweet. I took about 100,000 won. Then we went to some cafeteria that serves pretty much anything you can get in the US, including my favorite soft drink: Dr. Pepper (they don't serve it in Korea... very sad). I got some Taco Bell, and we talk about some stuff. I told him a bit about my situation. What was awesome though, was that he has been preaching about 1 Cor chapters 3 and 4 since I've been here. What providence God has!

Ever since I've been in Korea, I've been asking God, "why am I really here?" I know it's to teach English, to gain experience as a teacher and a student, but why?

I realized something about myself today: I'm full of pride. It was pride that kept me from calling people here for help. It was pride that kept me walking towards Incheon alone. It was pride all the time. Pride in my life. I just keep thinking about myself. I don't really consider God, not in the full sense. I'm always on the look out for me. I just never took the time to realize it. I just kept believing that pride was an issue that other people I knew struggled with, and that my struggles were more intimate, more personal, and that no one would really understand. I was just different. WRONG!

I stayed at church for the 3 pm service. It was during the song "Jesus Messiah" that I just began to break apart completely. I was overwhelmed my God's grace and presence in my life and in the world around me. He truly is Lord of all!

Now, I'm off to bed.

Peace.